Gauguin

Until last week, Tate Modern hosted a special Gauguin exhibition, and I was able to catch this very popular and crowded show.

Gauguin has never appealed to me in the past, even if I was quite impressed with his use of colors and bold compositions. After immersing myself in his world for several hours, I confirmed that the exhibition has not changed my dislike for his paintings and it made me wonder why this is the case. The exhibition was well-curated, showing his artworks according to the themes, such as "portraits" and "religion", with plenty of biographical and background information. Gauguin led a sensational life, so his biographical information was crucial for understanding his artistic progression. Through this exhibition, I learned that Gauguin's life and art are one and the same, more so than other artists, as he was an instinctive artist who seem to have been affected by his immediate surroundings.

I'm still not sure why I dislike his paintings. It may have to do with his half-heartened early influence by Pissaro or the sense of flatness in his paintings. On the other hand, I happily discovered that I like his wood-carvings and sculptures, and thought he might have made a better 3 dimensional artist than 2.

As an artist, Gauguin lived an incredible life, but as a person, he would have been someone I did not care to get to know, with his pre-feminist, chauvinist views on women quite typical of his era and incredible drive for artistic mission on the verge of pure selfishness. As his art and life are entwined, perhaps his paintings are acutely mirroring his views, whereas his 3 dimensional works obscure them, and that may be the reason why I prefer his works in non-2 dimensional medium.

Like or dislike, this was an incredible exhibition that helped me understand Gauguin's art and his insatiable drive for life and art.

Welcome! New Year

Finally, 2011 has arrived.

2010 was the year that fundamentally changed many things in my life. I realized that what I believed to be solid and firm are actually fragile and precarious, and the future does not continue in the straight line from the past.

The end of the era should bring forward the new era, but no new era started for me in 2010, as I kept myself in the limbo, wishfully hoping that the new era will show its face and lead me through the chaos. This never happened without my active participation in life, and the year ended with the sense of immobile stagnation.

Luckily, I was in the position to ponder my past and prepare my mental state for the future, but I don't think I used the time wisely. I spent many hours "catching up" on things, or so I claimed to my friends and family, but in reality I was escaping from taking actions because I was in denial that the past has really became the past.

This needs to end now. To be inside the comfort of well-built cocoon is tempting, but this is counter-productive, and I'm still too young to stop living.

According to the Eastern horoscope, luck is cyclical, and there are times of growth and times of stagnation. I was told that 2011 is the year when my new cyclical era of good fortune and growth will start, and so I waited.

There is no more excuse for me to stay status quo, now that 2011 has finally arrived.

My new year's resolution is to accept that the past is really the "past"and move on.